Self-Care Episode 1

The universe will treat you as well as you treat yourself.

I have some hard truths to share with you. If you’re not taking care of you, YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL.
There have been so many times in my life I’ve felt like everything I touch turns to gold. Things are going great! Sales are closing easily; projects are going smoothly. I feel happy and confident. I’m helping people!

Then there have been times in my life when everything feels like I’m the host of a goddamn Clown show! Everything I do turns to complete and total shit! My clients suck, nobody wants to buy my stuff. When sales do close the projects are a pain in the ass, everything that could go wrong does! These are the times I’ve grown neglectful of myself. I focus on “making” things better, forcing the pegs into the holes. But there’s something very important I’ve learned… Those pegs aren’t going to fit in those holes if they’re not oiled.

I was doing it all wrong. You need to take care of yourself FIRST! Before things are going great before the sales start closing before you feel like you have the “time”. Only then will you begin attracting the positive energy the universe has to give. Only then will you begin to be in love with working with your clients. Only then will your projects run smoothly. Only then will you begin to close sales with ease

So, what does taking care of yourself look like? I’m going to give you a hard truth: Self-care isn’t all bubble baths and getting in that girl time with your BFF. Self-care is waking up an hour before the kids so you have quiet time to meditate and plan your day. Self-care is dragging your ass to that 6pm workout after a long day of work so you can release the stress of the day. Self-care is cooking a healthy meal at home so you can fuel your body rather than filling it with garbage. Self-care means taking a FULL day off and saying NO to things that don't serve your day of recharging

Self-care means pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones and embracing the change in our lives. It means putting ourselves first so we can finally be present and ready emotionally, physically, and mentally to accept that change and move into a new life phase of success. Where the things we touch turn to a gold cause we’re happy.

Where we have the stamina to push through a few extra-long workdays so we can take that week-long vacation we’ve put off for 3 years. Where instead of crying in the shower because we feel exhausted and inadequate, we’re full of energy and ideas so we’re excited for the day. Where sales calls go smoothly and people are excited to work with us. Where all of our projects go smoothly and we’re ready and excited for the next one. Where you feel fulfilled and happy with your life because you’ve taken care of yourself and there’s balance.

That’s true self-care. So, I want you to tell me, how do you take care of yourself?
When you practice true self-care do you feel happier, more fulfilled or do you feel guilty for taking the time for yourself?

Let’s support one another and realize our true potential when we stop filling from an empty cup!

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Are You Motivated or Are You Disciplined?

Are you motivated or are you disciplined? Well, what's the difference?

Let me tell you…

Motivation comes when something is new or exciting or maybe when you’ve got an amazing stroke of inspiration. You’re knocking things off your to-do list left and right. You’re going 300 miles per hour and the creative juices are flowing and you’re in the freaking zone! Discipline is when it’s taken twice as long to get this one stupid thing done than I planned. My kid brought a whole bucket of sand in the house and dumped it on the couch and I haven't slept well in three days, but I’m still finishing this landing page if it's the last thing I do!

Life is going to happen. Things are going to take longer than you planned. It's not always going to be sunshine and rainbows. You are not always going to be motivated, and that's when you need to rely on being disciplined. Discipline is what's going to make you motivated. Let me repeat that - Discipline is what’s going to MAKE you motivated.

Did you finally make a sale after following up with that person 12 times, after answering all their crazy questions and making all those phone calls? That’s pretty damn motivating! Did your landing page add 400 new people to your mailing list who are excited to buy into your next launch? How motivating was that?? It's only when we get it out of our heads that we have to be motivated to get things done that we’re going to be successful.

Practice discipline, motivation will come.

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The Abundance Mindset

In so many industries there seems to be this notion - that to connect with those offering the same services as you are a waste of time. How can they possibly help my business? They’re the competition! But the truth is, even if you have a team, even if you have the best processes in place, even if you are the most efficient person to ever walk to the planet, you could still NEVER serve everyone in your industry!

And I promise, if you try, your customers are going to suffer. Throughout my career, I’ve learned there will always be an abundance of business, but only when I’m AVAILABLE and ready to receive it - When I’m in proper ALIGNMENT when I’m doing the work on myself and on my business, when I’m making connections, when I’m giving MORE than I’m taking, when my ABUNDANCE MINDSET is ready to serve. Serve my customers, serve those in my industry, and in turn, serve my well-being.

There is no such thing as competition. When you learn to accept this, when you truly understand that there is more than enough business for everyone, when we help each other find that business and connect with our ideal customers, THAT'S WHEN OUR BUSINESSES GROW.

That’s when we truly reap the benefits of ABUNDANCE!

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Are You Authentically You?

Are you trying to be someone you’re not? How’s that working for you?

As women, we’re told our entire lives who and what we *should* be “Sugar and spice and everything nice”, right? We’re supposed to be soft-spoken, and always polite and pretty and perfect… Well, I call bullshit on that!

Sometimes that’s not the way we are and for some of us that's not the way we’re ever going to be. So, why are you trying so hard to fit into a mold you’re not made for??? What’s your biggest fear revolving around this? Are you afraid of rejection? Are you worried people will judge you? Are you afraid of being raw and vulnerable? The people in your life: clients, friends, colleagues, the energy they bring - It’s a direct reflection of you. So, if your energy is unauthentic, if you’re constantly trying to force yourself into this box you don't fit in - that reflection is going to be all wrong.

How exhausting is it to pretend all the time??? To always wear this mask. How amazing would it be to just be able to relax to just be ourselves? So, what if you don't like wearing makeup and getting all dressed up just to do a Facebook live - Show up how you want!!! The people that care are not your people if they don’t sign up for your services, GOOD! So, what if you’re a level 4 out of 10 energy on a good day? Show up at that level 4 and speak to all those other level 4’s out there - Those are your people!

Do you love to laugh and joke around a lot? YOU DO YOU! When you’re showing up authentically, you’ll attract those that are on your level! Why wouldn’t you want to surround yourself with people who value YOU??

If you LOVE doing your hair and makeup and that makes you feel good… You do that!
If you love dropping F-bombs and saying outlandish shit! DO IT!!!
If you’re shy and soft-spoken and you don't feel good being “in-your-face”, YOU BE YOURSELF!

Don’t try to be anything you’re not!

Only then will you begin attracting the people into your life and into your business that serve your higher purpose. Only then will you start building those relationships that raise you higher rather than pull you down. Only then will you start connecting with your followers on a more intimate level

You are the only you there is and that’s what makes you special.

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Read Me If You Hate Prospecting

It’s no secret that this year’s been rough for a lot of business owners. So how did I manage to double sales in a saturated industry while “nobody's marketing”?

I was proactive. I invested in myself. I invested time, money, and emotional energy into my personal and financial growth. I put even more effort into ATTRACTING my dream clients. I stopped “prospecting” altogether. That’s right! I no longer prospect for new business; I’m constantly preaching about being true to yourself. Showing up with authentic energy and if I’m being completely honest… I hate prospecting!!

So how can I be expected to show up with positive, authentic energy to something I find so exhausting? In talking with a lot of you, I’ve learned that I’m not alone. That’s why I’ve made Client Attraction such a big part of my new program: Diva Sales Mastery.

In it you’ll learn
How to put yourself in a position of authority
How to avoid the traditional methods of cold outreach
How to spend less time marketing while getting better results

I only want to work with REAL DIVAS.

So Please only sign up if you’re:
Tired of cold calls/cold emails.
Tired of sending hundreds of random “hey girl” DMs to people who just ignore them anyway.
Tired of talking to tire kickers all day.
Tired of having to CONVINCE people they should buy your products or services.

If this is you, comment “I’m a Diva” below.

If this is not you and you don’t mind spending hours every day filling your pipeline please move on. There are limited seats available in this program and I only want REAL DIVAS READY FOR CHANGE to join.

Comment “I’m a Diva” if you’re ready.

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#CantStopWontStop

That’s the mentality we all have when we're grinding to reach our goals. When the finish line is right there in site. When we’re so close we can taste it!

But are you taking time for you? How do you feel? We think of self-care as a luxury - something we get to do when we’ve “made it”; something we feel guilty for indulging in when we made the kids have a PB&J for dinner last week. But what is self-care really? Why has it become this fad thing that only those “young millennials” without kids or jobs get to do? Well...it’s not. Self-care is literally what it says - Taking care of yourself.

Have you had to pee for the last 15 minutes but you’re on a roll writing your next blog post, so you're holding it till you’re done? Take care of yourself! Did you skip taking a shower today because your first grader couldn’t find her homework, and then you had to do the dishes; and then you had to fill some orders, and then….and then...and then… Take care of yourself!! Have you gone to bed late every night this week because your to-do list never ends and you always feel like you’re playing catch up? Take care of yourself.

My point is, self-care can mean a lot of things. It doesn’t always have to be all bath bombs and wine night with the girls, and massages and facials. It’s the little things. Like listening to our bodies, taking naps when we need them. Spending an extra 3 mins in the shower to meditate and decompress after a long day. It’s going to bed on time so we can tackle our to-do list in the morning with a little extra energy. Because the fact is, when we’re taking care of ourselves, we’re better. We’re better partners, we’re better friends, we’re better parents.

We’re better business owners.

So, I challenge you to practice some self-care this week. Do something nice for yourself.

Share with us what you plan to do in the comments
I’ll share my plan too.

 

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Welcome To The Diva Lab Blog

Its an exciting time for the Diva Lab. We are launching this blog that will soon be full of amazing tips, tricks and techniques for women to make the most of their businesses. I want to welcome you here and I hope you will find the blog posts useful. If you haven't done so already, be sure to also check out our growing Facebook group here:

Diva Lab Facebook Group

Stay tuned for some amazing content.

Deb

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